stickyfingers

Now that I'm five

Now that I'm five I can go to big school, he said. But I think the reality of that slowly crept up on him over the holidays and as the school term loomed nearer, the tears flowed a little, there was a little less patience and a bit more general out of sorts with the world.

But the deed is done. You can see from his face he is in two minds - smiling because it comes so readily - smile at Cashar and he just can't help but smile back. But there are definite nerves underneath.

I feel lost without my little man. He is such a ray of sunshine. And he seems so young. I fret and worry what school will do to him...the line ups, the rules, the expectation to conform. I want him to stay my happy quiet little boy, content to play in a corner and full of love and cuddles. I hope and pray school won't bash that out of him.

But anyway, it seems reasonably pointless worrying. Nothing much we can do to change his reality....unless we win the lotto and send him to a lovely small creative nurturing and expensive school that simply brings out the best in children (what, our big standard public school doesn't do that??!!)

So I will keep the faith that our love and support for him, our nourishing and nurturing at home will be enough to sustain him. And keep buying that lotto ticket...live in hope!!

Empire Building

Its a funny old business, this working from home thing. The "engine room" can become a highly charged space at times. Two slight people with big ideas creating in a space beneath a packed-to-the-rafters house.

Head of creative

The Engine Room

And five children, three goldfish and a bunny rabbit can act as a very effective handbrake to all that creativity.

The Support Team

And so I have spent the morning trawling the streets looking for offices to lease.

With the little ones in tow, it was heaps of fun.

Number five spent her morning wriggling out of the pram and playing chicken in the High Street. And number four was just hungry. All the time. A boy, age nearly five. Need I say more?

Clearly weetbix, a banana, apple, packet of tiny teddies, some watermelon, a ham and cheese sandwich and a ginger biscuit nicked from the pharmacy was not nearly enough for breakfast. I wonder if he might have a stomachache tonight, eat a green leaf tomorrow and turn into a beautiful butterfly by the weekend? Perhaps not.

Either way, I made an executive decision to put a halt to the property search and return to my cave.

Five passed out in the car, exhausted from all that running. Four just asked what was for lunch and plonked himself infront of the TV.

I am now torn between the desire to get some work done and the need to organise the tribe for the mountains of after school activities. And I have, of course, mother guilt, suspecting that the electronic babysitter will turn my son into a dribbling overweight idiot.

And so, I do what I do best ....procrastinate. A little networking, a few emails, a checking of lists and then a little writing. Its hardly the stuff that corporate giants are built on.

Or is it? Maybe we all start somewhere, in a little space at the bottom of a busy house, dreaming of bigger things.

Either way, I'm off to the kitchen. Four has asked if he has square eyes...a little, I tell him and ask if he wants to peel some eggs for tea.

Its all about balance in the end. Finding it, living today and keeping faith with the dreams of tomorrow.

 

Birthing and beyond

I am writing this post because I am feeling crazy cross …and in need of a completely biased rant about the state of childbirth and all things related in Australia today…as I see it!

So fogive me if I ruffle a few feathers.. but sometimes, one's opinions just need to be out there!

An American study recently published in the American Journal of Paediatrics concluded that babies can survive for up to 6 months on breast milk alone.

Astonishing fact indeed…that as mammals, we are able to do what every single other mammal does – provide adequate nutrition for our babies.

So the question is – why do we need to waste valuable medical resources establishing this fact?  Have we come to a place of such disbelief in our capacity as mothers that we need science to prove us wrong…or right, if you have that strange notion that your breastmilk may be OK for your baby?

When did we lose sight of our natural state and fall into the hands of the big formula giants?

Note the wording of the results – we can feed our babies for up to 6 months – and not provide adequate nutrition beyond??

How does that sit with a big bouncy baby who 8 months of age has no interest in solid food, a passion for boobies and keeps growing off the chart that we dutifully are handed out in the birthing suite and feel a need to reference at all times…to double check our baby is growing…as if we can’t tell for ourselves when those size 00’s no longer fit.

Personally, I gave up all weigh ins and health checks after number 2….relying on my in built mother instinct to provide me with a belief that bub was alright…feeding, sleeping and doing Ok thank you very much – did cave woman have a weight chart to follow when feeding her little mammal?

Isn’t it time that women had the proper support in childbirth and in raising their baby?

Rather than throwing a load of science at her, along with a belief that there is no way you can survive the pain of childbirth, that all births must be done and dusted within 24 hours and that the hospital is THE place to be in order to survive the dangerous and traumatic road to giving birth? (really??)

Rather than giving her weight charts to panic over, implying that measuring baby (and thus measuring intake) is that best way forward.

Isn’t it time that medical professionals actually started saying…this is how it is meant to be, you were made to do this – give birth, provide milk etc., we will help you achieve this?

It isn’t rocket science. But it isn’t easy either. But that doesn’t excuse the professional will to make it so.

 Time to give women faith, empower them in their choices and nurture and support them on their journey.

 The medical profession takes a vow to nurture life….so do just that. Allow nature to breathe, allow women to do what they do best and only interfere when life is really at risk.

I am woefully bad at sticking to resolutions. Take the daily resolve not to shout at the kids. Broken by 8am usually - and thats on a good day. Or the equally frequent idea that I will not eat any cakes or chocolate for a day....shattered by a morning coffee.

But my most regular failing is my failure to avoid alcohol. I start off each day intent on having a dry one but by mid afternoon, I am looking forward to that first lovely glass of wine and the rather fudgy state it induces that gets me through the witching hours of dinner, homework, baths and bed.

Quite frankly I'm worried. You see there is a pattern emerging. Every pregnancy has induced a pretty much alcohol free zone. Baby is born. One small glass of wine indulged after that last feed as a relaxant.  And the feeding curtails the amount I indulge in...after all, babies literally drunk on breast milk is not a good look.

But come weaning time (which has I admit lasted up to 18 months), all bets are off. And the volume of alcohol indulged in seems to be growing.

Now I'm quite a little person. 2 very large glasses (recent average consumption) is alot for me. And warning bells are ringing. At which point,in the past, I have conveniently fallen pregnant, and so dried out rather quickly.

The thing is, there is no such option now. Really, five times is quite enough, especially if one is using childbirth as a way to moderate one's drinking.

Hence the daily resolve. And herein lies the rub. I can be hell bent on my goal ALL day. But give me five children 11 and under, two fighters, one screamer and one winder upperer and the mission to complete all school work, sporting activities, music practice, cooking, washing and cleaning up by bed time and its any wonder I'm reaching for the bottle.

It doesn't take much. Last night, after a full day at work, the kids were fed, bathed and homeworked by 6.30pm. Feeling like a miracle worker, I took the opportunity to help number three with her school project. Hah!! More fool me.

Within five minutes, baby had exploded out of her nappy, number four had made confetti with 987 pieces of paper and a pair of scissors and..the 'piece de resistance',number two had vomited all over the lounge, then run whilst vomiting through the kitchen, play area and laundry to the toilet.

Not much to clean up then!

At which point, there was nothing else for it. And in the spirit of only bothering to do something if you are going to do it properly, I went the whole hog. Shouted at the kids, got the chocolate out of the fridge and poured myself a glass of chardonnay.

Luckily, there is always tomorrow.

 

 

 

Its not often as a cake designer that you get to share the cake cutting ceremony. Today I was lucky enough to be there for a friend's 40th and share the Happy Birthday celebration.

And there it was, a job defining moment. The gift of a cake, make personal with the colours of his age old soccer team. A crowd of friends and family gathered around. Everyone singing Happy Birthday, and in that moment, wishing him their love and blessings.

You could see the emotion it evoked. That affirmation that everyone needs, that they are loved and important.

And that is why it was a job defining moment. Because a cake isn't just a scientific result of blending ingredients together and baking. It comes wrapped in love and affection and demands that everyone gather round to focus for just that moment on that person or couple.

And that is why I love what I do. Because I create something special that is part of life's important moments, part of an all important ritual of celebration. And in our fast paced world, stopping for a while to celebrate life's riches is exactly what we need.

So here it is. A big design that says....this moment is special enough to have something really rather grand to mark it with. I hope I hit the mark. 

Mad Hatters

Life has been somewhat off the chain recently. What with me starting a new job baking for a friend, as well as focusing on my own lovely, thrilling and joy inducing business - www.nutmegcakesandcookies.com.au

Add to that the man of the house commuting full time and building his own design business on the side and you can see why the household is running at full pressure. (Incidently, www.stickygreenfrog.com.au is one amazing and creative design company, if I do say so myself!)

In light of this rather crazy state of affairs, I wanted to give the lovely Simon a fitting cake for his birthday. And so here it is, bright, wonky and rather sweet I think - I'm just loving the bendy candles found in the bottom of my candle bucket - very cute!

White choc mud at the bottom, dark chocolate on top - layered and ganached and covered with love.

To celebrate and share, we had an impromptu cake and bubbles gathering - a handful of friends and about 1000 kids.

The post cake eating suagr hit gave us a slightly insane Nanny Macphee moment - children popping up everywhere, sliding down stairs, climbing over the balcony and jumping on all the beds. Adults sheltering in the living room, calling "Nanny Macphee we need you!"

All fitting in nicely with the current state of affairs I feel!

India

I just had to put this picture up. Her current favourite game is climbing onto empty chairs, leaning over the back and toppling over. Needless to say, it always ends in tears. I am not entirely sure how long it will take her to realise that this happens each and every time she attempts it. Maybe she is going for the world record of how many times you can fall off a chair in a month - so far we are up to about 55 million.

Nevertheless, you have just gotta love that smile - how pleased is she with herself?!

Biketastic

Bike riding is such a winter thing for us. We just never seem to get round to it in the summer - the call of the ocean is too strong I think. All everyone wants to do is swim and surf. but I love pottering along on the bikes, with the children careering around racing each other. It just seems to chill everyone out...even India, who complains about the bumps but has a grin on her face all the way around.

Here is the gang, having a rest and a water stop.

Must remember to do it more often!

Sundays

Its been a funny kind of day. Not without its ups and downs, that's for certain. But here is one of the ups

Dappled morning sunlight. The girls playing in the garden.  And some more

Singing

Precious moments. I'm so glad I caught them.

Baby cake

I delivered a cake today. A gift from a friend for a woman with a new baby.

She looked a little non-plussed when she answered the door with this tiny bundle in her arms.

And I wondered over the appropriateness of the gift. I mean, it's not exactly useful or even something to treasure.

But it so hits the spot. Given out of love and affection. Ordered by the woman's friend, who wanted to give something beautiful, something to bring a smile.

She wanted something the whole family could share, big sister too.

And that is exactly what cake does. A touch of decadence that makes you feel good. Something lovely to look at. A focus for celebration, a way to bring everyone together.

The ritual of cutting into a cake brings everyone in to reflect on what we are celebrating. The sharing it around gives a common bond.

These things all bring a moment of happiness, of equanimity, to our lives.

And sometimes, in those treasured yet gruelling days of a newborn baby, a little light sweet moment of pleasure gets us through.

So here it is. I hope I did the moment justice.